十年級時，我們學校舉辦了一個類似
TED Talk的演講大會，不管是老師，學生，校長，還是路人，都可以參加。
我得知消息後當然是連滾帶跳的去報名，回家摩拳擦掌的寫稿。
我自選的題目是「樂觀者都是騙子」，目的不是提昌悲觀主義，而是提昌實用主義。
在你們討論還在杯子是半空還是半滿的時候，我已經把水喝光了。
以下是我在台上用的講稿。
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Optimists Are Liars
Hello guys, how are you?
My name is Jeffrey Boring Voice, and I’m here to talk about Optimism and Pessimism.
This is not what you’d call a “fun topic,” but discussing about it benefits as much as it bores.
These two, let’s call it “ways of life,” determine how people make morale choices, how people give advice to others, and how they react to a speaker when he declares that, “OPTIMISTS ARE LIARS!”
But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me back up.
What are Optimism and Pessimism? Do they hold up in our lives as much as they do in arguments?
Let’s break them apart a bit.
So, what is Optimism?
Being optimistic means looking for good things in given situations…And that’s exactly what the optimists claim they do. They believe that it is best for them.
Being pessimistic is just the opposite, looking for bad things in given situations…However, the pessimists call it “preparing for the worst” so they “won’t be disappointed.” They also believe that it is best for them.
Thus, conflict.
Both sides try to recruit members from the “commoners group” into adapting their “ways of life” and argue how their way is the best way.
Currently it seems like the Optimists are leading, but that may change at any moment.
Now, back to the title of this talk. Consider why I claimed that optimists are liars? Why?
I’ll give you a minute……….…..need a hint?
What did I say in the beginning of this speech?
How are you?
What is the most common answer you’d get?
It’s “good” isn’t it?
When somebody answered, “bad.” What is the reaction a normal person would have?
“What’s wrong?” “What happened?”
Most people would ask.
Now, when they answered “good,” how often were they asked:
“What’s good?” or
“What happened?”
Never, in my experience.
Let’s assume that half of the people are optimists and half are pessimists.
Did the pessimists ask, “What’s good?” Of course not!
But, did the optimists ask, “What’s good?” The answer is “no” too.
Why?
What’s I’m trying to say is: Why do the optimists only ask about the bad things? Why don’t they ask for the good things?
Aren’t they supposed to look for good things? Why do they not look for the cause of the person’s good mood? Why do they only look for the cause of bad moods? Isn’t that the job of a pessimist? Are the optimists secretly pessimists?
Are all human beings born pessimists?
Let’s tackle another big question while we’re at it.
Is the Christian God an optimist or a pessimist?
He’s sure an optimist.
How do I know?
From the bible of course!
In Genesis, it told a story of a man and a woman who were tricked by a snake to eat God’s forbidden fruit, and were exiled from heaven.
Why would the father leave the jar of cookie on the floor if he doesn’t want his kids to eat it?
Because he believes in them. That’s why!
He trusts the kids enough to believe that the cookies will be safe, even when it’s placed on the floor, where the kids can easily gain access to.
Some people say that God placed the fruit and the snake in the garden to test Adam and Eve.
That’s bullshit.
God is omniscient, meaning that he knows EVERYTHING. Everything includes the future, meaning that he knew Adam and Eve were going to eat the fruit.
There is no testing. He already knew the results, yet he was still angry at them for eating the fruit.
Why?
It’s simple. He believed. Just like that father.
He believed in the good of his children, that they will not eat the cookie even though he knew that the said-kids were Cookie Monster and that dog from the Cookie Crisp Cereal commercials. It’s inevitable that the cookie will be eaten, but the jar was still placed on the floor.
The belief was broken. God was heart-broken, too. That’s why he sent them out. And they would never be allowed to come back, until they were persuaded by Jesus to behave themselves and stop eating God’s cookies.
God is an optimist, because he looked for the good in Adam and Eve, even in the most impossible scenarios.
And, since God made everyone according to himself:
Are all human beings born optimist?
…
Okay, that about sums it up. Since I still have… a little over three minutes left, I will blow bubbles into this cup.
!@%*!@%*!@(%!@*%(@!%@!%*@!
(Speak faster from now on)
Ohh yes!
Is this cup half full or half empty?
This is THE most common indicator of whether you’re an optimist or pessimist. The optimists say the cup is half full, and the pessimists say the cup is half empty.
What good does being optimistic and being pessimistic bring?
Optimists claim that by being positive, they will be motivated or encouraged to accomplish difficult tasks. Are they really? What I if believe that I can fly, and jump out of the window? Would having positive and good thought save me? I think not.
Don’t be too happy, pessimists, you’re next.
Pessimists claim that by being negative, they will be able to prevent bad things from happening and accomplish tasks risk-free. Is it possible to be risk-free? The pessimists who banned dodge-ball in some schools because some kid got hurt while playing it are as dumb as banning walking because there’s the chance for you to trip, or banning pencils because you may stab yourself in the eye.
What’s I’m saying is that, risk is ALWAYS involved. And if you try to avoid every risk possible, you’ll end up doing nothing.
The reason there are more optimists walking around than pessimists, is because jumping off the third floor has a higher chance of survival than the chance for a risk-phobic person to come out and spread their ideas. It’s NOT because optimists are better than pessimists, or the other way around.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter whether you’re pessimistic or optimistic. We don’t make choices that are solely based on our positivity or negativity.
The people who ask “what’s wrong?” rationally think that they are optimistic, but emotionally they are more curious in negative things.
People who do actions they believe will fail, rationally knows that it’s impossible, but emotionally, they HAVE to do it, for other reasons, honor, country, family, or love.
…………
So my voice is tired and boring, and I'm sure most of you are doodling in your sketch books or wishing you've brought your sketch books by now, so let's wrap this up.
It’s pointless to argue whether one’s better than another, because none of them are. They work with, not in spite of one another. They are all part of a whole, part of choices, of thoughts, of you.
Because at the end of the day, the ultimate goal is doing the right thing. Ignore whether an action is optimistic or pessimistic. Putting tags onto actions will only restrain yourself from performing the good ones, and make you do the one that’s associated to the “way of life” you believe in.
Don’t follow a “way of life”, live life your way.
Don’t think whether it’s better to think the cup is empty or full. Just drink the water.
This is Jeffrey Boring Voice drinking the water.
*DRINK
Later!
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