With The Lights Out
Sliver: The Best of the Box
一直以來,關於Nirvana領導Grunge地下另類音樂革命並攻上主流排行版和Kurt Cobain傳奇般的一生..
他們所創下的事蹟與寫下搖滾樂新歷史的顛覆,深深震撼著許多人的心靈..
尤其是Kurt那憤世嫉俗的嘶吼,直接又誠實的態度與嗓音..
以及最後的一槍送上27俱樂部的搖滾祭壇....
這首Sappy是一首他們未正式公開收錄在專輯中的歌曲..
早在影響搖滾界的曠世鉅作《Nevermind》發行前就已經錄製完成..
後來好像是因為不符《Nevermind》的風格就沒收錄,不過在他們的巡迴演唱中倒是很常演唱這首歌..
直到2004年收錄許多Nirvana未公開歌曲的3CD+DVD《With The Lights Out》發行(我稱它為鐵盒子..)
以及之後從中選出19首的精選《Sliver: The Best of the Box》,Sappy才正式露面..
而我喜愛Sappy的程度遠超過Smells Like Teen Spirit,包括歌詞....
Nirvana - Sappy
Nirvana - Sad (這首是Sappy的demo)
Sappy Lyrics
And if you save yourself, You will make him happy
He'll keep you in a jar, And you'll think you're happy
He'll give you breathing holes, And you'll think you're happy
He'll cover you with grass, And you'll think you're happy now
You're really in a laundry room
The clue just came to you, oh
And if you cut yourself, You will think you're happy
He'll keep you in a jar, Then you'll make him happy
He'll give you breathing holes, Then you'll think you're happy
He'll cover you with grass, Then you'll think you're happy now
And if you fool yourself, You will make him happy
He'll keep you in a jar, Then you'll think you're happy
He'll give you breathing holes, Then you will seem happy
You'll wallow in his shit, Then you'll think you're happy now
關於第一個影片是在Kurt逝世後,原Nirvana的鼓手和貝斯手Dave與Krist為了紀念Kurt..
而將原有保存的畫面製成影帶MV..
第二首demo則是錄自tape,所以音質並不好,卻也非常真實..
而Sappy原歌名應是Sad,是一首非常傷心無奈的歌..
後來不知是不是因為歌詞一直反覆出現happy,所以才合成Sappy..
Kurt寫的詞也一直是許多人探討的重點,他到底要傳達什麼訊息? 這首Sappy也是其中之一..
我個人的解讀,這首歌或許是在描述虛偽的依附關係與沉溺的假快樂..
歌詞中每段都會出現相對的兩人,像是he和you..
而不管是哪方,都為了取悅對方而做出一些明明不快樂卻又假裝自己很快樂的事..
最後都墮入了這種虛假的快樂....
同時我也認為這首歌隱約也有他自殺的潛因在..
Nirvana走紅的太過火,而音樂是Kurt唯一逃避現實寄託心靈的空間..
Kurt恨死了大量盲目的Nirvana粉絲,卻發現自己竟然很享受這種虛榮感..
當唯一的心靈寄托被這種虛榮感填滿時..
他說出了 "I hate myself and I want to die."
悲慘的童年、長期的神經性胃痛一直是他痛苦的淵源..
他本來藉由嗑藥減輕痛苦,後來音樂解救了他,結婚後生下一女,愛情和親情紓解了他..
但Nirvana一下子成名到達巔峰,他失去了音樂的熱沉和靈魂,徒留厭惡的自己..
女兒的監護權又被剝走,他再度尋求喀藥意圖自殺未成..
最後還是如同團名Nirvana,超脫,舉起槍,一顆子彈把自己埋葬....
而這首Sappy所表達的真意,也只有Kurt自己知道....