【小說翻譯】刺客教條 4 : 黑旗 (官方精裝版) 第一部分 第一章 - 廚師

Part 1

One 廚師

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原文 :

1719 (OR THEREABOUTS)

I cut off a man's nose once .

   I can't recall exactly when it was : 1719 or thereabouts . Nor where . But it happened during the raid on a Spanish brig . We wanted her supplies , of course . I pride myself on keeping the Jackdaw well stocked . But there was something else on board too . Something we didn't have but needed . Someone , to be precise . A ship's cook .

   Our own ship's cook and his mate were both dead . The cook's mate had been caught pissing in the ballast , which I didn't allow and so punished him the traditional way , by making him drink a mug of the crew's piss .  

   I must admit , I've never had it happen before where the mug of punishment piss actually killed a man , but that's what happened with the cook's mate .  <--- (A human's piss could actually kill a person ? News to me !)  He drank the mug if piss , went to  sleep that night and never got up .

   Cook was all right by himself for a time , but he did like a nip of rum , and after a nip of rum was apt to take the night air on the poop-deck . I'd hear him clomping about on the roof of my cabin , dancing a jig .Until one night I heard him clomping about on the roof of my cabin , dancing a jig --- followed by a scream and splash .  <----- (It would be the dumbest idea to dance around above of your CAPTAIN's Cabin , that's why you earned your dumbest death XD )

   The bell rang and the crew rushed to the deck , where we dropped anchor and lit lanterns and torches , but of Cook there was no sign .

   They had lads working with them , of course , but they were just boys ; none of them knew how to do anything more culinary-minded than stir the pot or peel some spuds , and we'd been living on raw grub ever since . Not a man among us knew how to do so much as boil a pot of water .   <----- (What a shame of you guys ......)

   Now ， not long back we'd taken a *man-of-war . A tasty little excursion from which we'd bagged ourselves a brand-spanking-new broadside battery and a holdful of artillery : cutlasses , pikes , muskets , pistols , powder and shot . From one of the captured crew , who then  became one of my crew , I'd learnt that the Dons had a particular supply ship on which served an especially adept cook .  <---- (Now what ? Starting to rob others cook , eh ?)

   Words was that he'd cooked at court but offended the queen and been banished . I didn't believe a word of that but it didn't stop me repeating it , telling the crew we'd have him preparing our meals before the week was out . Sure enough we made it our business to hunt down this particular brig , and when we found it , lost no time in attacking it . <---- (Hunger brings  morale , huh ?)

   Our new broadside battery came in handy . We drew up alongside and peppered the brig with shot till she broke , the canvas in tatters and the helm splintered in the water . She was already listing as my crew lashed and boarded her ,scuttling over her sides like rats , the air heavy with the stink of powder ,the sound of muskets popping and cutlasses already beginning to rattle .

   I was in among them as always , cutlass in on hand and my hidden blade engaged , the cutlass for the melee work , the hidden blade for close finishing . Two of them came at me and I made short work of the first  , driving my cutlass into the top of his head and slicing his *tricorn in half as the blade cleaved his head almost in two . He went to his knees with the blade of my sword between his eyes but the problem was I'd driven it too deep , and when I tried to wrench it free his writhing body came with it .

  Then the second man was upon me , terror in his eyes , not used to fighting , obviously, and with a flick of the blade I sliced off his nose  , which had the desired effect of sending him back with blood spraying from the bloody hole where his beak had been , while I used two hands to finally wrench my cutlass out of the skull of the first attacker and continue the good fight . It was soon over , with as few of their crew dead as possible , me having given out special instructions that on no account was the cook to be harmed-- Whatever happens , I'd said , we have to take the cook alive .

   After the brig disappeared beneath the water and we sailed away , leaving a fog of powder-smoke and sea of splintered hull and bobbing bits of broken ship behind us , we gathered their crew on the main deck to flush out the cook , hardly a man among us not salivating , his belly not rumbling , the well-fed look of their crew not lost on us . Not at all .  <--- (It's a worthy battle , isn't it ?)

   It was Caroline who taught me how to appreciate good food . Caroline my one true love . I the all-too-brief time we'd spent together she refine my plate , and I liked to think that she'd have approved of my policy towards the repast , and how I'd passed on a love of the finer things to the crew , knowing as I did , partly due to what she'd shown me , that a well-fed man is happy man , and a happy man is a man less prone to questioning the authority of the ship , which is why in all those years at sea I never had one sniff of mutiny . Not one .

   "Here I am , " he said ,stepping forward . Except it sounded more like , "Beer I bam , " owing to his bandaged face , where some fool had cut of  his nose .   <------ (Wasn't that your fault , Captain Kenway ?)   

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譯文 :

1719 (左右的時間點)

我曾經削掉過別人的鼻子。

   我記不清楚是甚麼時候的事情了，差不多就是1719左右，實際地點也給忘了。但是事情是發生在我們襲擊一艘西班牙雙軌帆船的時候。船上的貨物是我們主要的目的，沒錯。我倒也是蠻自豪我的寒鴉號總是物資豐富。但是我們目前也正好缺了一個該船沒有但是非常急需的，一個能人，具體來說，是需要一名"廚師"。

   我們的廚師和他的夥計都掛蛋了。他的夥計是有一次在船上被抓到在船艙裡偷尿尿 <---(有這麼無聊嗎? ) ，船上是有下令禁止的，所以我們就依傳統處罰方式 : 叫他喝下一杯船員的尿 。<--- (真噁心!!!)

   我得先聲明，我從來都沒聽說過 "一個人喝別人的尿會致死" <---(我也他媽的沒聽說過) ，但是....事實就是這樣發生了。那倒楣的夥計喝完了尿之後回房間睡覺，隔天就再也沒有醒來過了。

   廚師的話一開始倒也是很正常地獨自忙活，就是特愛喝蘭姆酒。每次喝了幾口就會跑到船尾的甲板上去呼吸夜晚的新鮮空氣，然後就會聽見那死白目在船長室頭頂上的甲板踏起沉重的舞步。  <---(作死行為，小朋友千萬不要學!!) 直到有一天，我又聽到他在頭頂上踏著沉重的舞步時，突然間，卻伴隨著淒厲的慘叫以及水花四濺的聲音。

   警鐘大響，所有的人都冲到了甲板上來，船員們放下船錨又點上燈爐和火把，開始四處搜尋，可那廚師就像人間蒸發一樣...消失了。  <---( G G )

   其實廚師和夥計是有一群小幫手，可惜都還只是小孩子而已，除了攪拌料理和刨刨馬鈴薯之外基本上就是毫無廚藝天分可言，所以我們就真的過了一段茹毛飲血的原始人生活。整艘船上甚至連一個知道怎麼煮開水的人都沒有。 <---(摳連諾.....你們還是不是大海男兒啊?)

   時間回到剛才，我們拿下一艘軍艦的時候。那是一次非常可觀的收穫，就好比說那一台無比嶄新的側旋砲台以及諸多軍火武器 : 成堆的海軍刀、長矛、滑膛槍、手槍、火藥及子彈。 我們還從敵方俘虜變成我方船員中的口中得知，後方還有一艘專門的補給艦，上面有載著一名很厲害的廚師。 聽說他之前是宮廷裡的廚師，但是(可能因某些原因)冒犯到了皇后所以被驅逐出庭。雖然我才懶得去聽那些鬼話，但還是使我對他印象深刻。我告誡在場的所有船員，在這個周末以前一定要生擒廚師給我們加菜!! 於是乎在我們開始依線尋找並且在發現它的蹤跡之後，立即開戰。

   我們全新的側旋砲相當好用，迴繞在敵艦附近近乎把它給打成馬蜂窩，支離破碎的帆布以及被炸成碎木拽的舵盤都浮在大海之上。當船員們開始登船的時候，它早已成了甕中之鱉。水手們像老鼠般地攀在敵船側旁，空氣中滿是煙硝刺鼻的氣味，滑膛槍的爆擊聲和刀劍對峙的敲擊聲不絕於耳。

   我一如既往的跟著水手們一同奮戰，一手握著海軍刀用於近身刀拼 ； 另一手袖劍出鞘用於近身擊殺。 兩名敵人一前一後向我迎來，我先發制人攻擊離我最近的那個。軍刀刀起直落從他頭頂正上方就劈了下去，三角帽連同半顆腦袋就被我硬生生地砍成兩半。隨即他就頭卡著刀跪攤在甲板上，問題是我剛剛下力過猛，想把刀拔出來卻逼得我得拖著他的屍體走。

   接著後面的那個敵人就衝過來了，雙眼充滿著恐懼，很明顯是沒怎麼幹過實架的菜鳥，我左手袖劍一揮就把他鼻子給削了去，他慘叫了一聲就向後退了好幾步遠，只見鮮血從他鼻子的傷口全湧了出來，也在此同時雙手輔助一發力可終於把我的刀從第一個倒楣鬼的頭顱裡拔了出來，繼續完成攻陷。 很快的，戰鬥就結束了，盡可能地把傷害減到最低，外加上我之前頒布的聖令誰都不能夠傷害廚師--- 無論如何 ，我說 廚師必須活著。  <---(搶錢、搶糧、搶廚師!!!)

   看著敵人的雙軌船沉入大海之後，我們也隨之離航，遠離空氣中瀰漫著火藥嗆鼻的煙幕、遠離才留在海面上的碎木殘片。我們在主要甲板上集結了他們的成員並且四下搜尋廚師的蹤影，我們這裡的每個船員都是垂涎三尺，肚子餓得咕嚕嚕地叫，那些船員吃飽飽的樣子我們這一生大概都忘不了。

   是卡洛琳教我怎麼欣賞美味佳餚的。卡洛琳是我的真愛，跟他在一起的短暫時間當中，她常常為我做菜，我甚至都認為我之所以會對用餐改觀都是她的功勞，也因此我也用了同樣的理念和愛傳遞給我所有弟兄們。就如她所言的一樣 : 能吃得飽又好的人乃是幸福之人，而幸福之人就不會隨意的質疑在船艦之上的權威，這也就是為什麼在這幾年大風大浪的日子，我所領導的水手們都沒出過一次亂子，一次都沒有。 <---(看來食物的好壞還是很重要的! )

   "我就是" 那廚師邊說邊走向前頭一步，不過...聽起來更像是 "偶就素" 因為他臉上被蒙了一層長長的醫療繃帶，某個白癡把他的鼻子給削了。 <---( 肯威船長，那不就是你嗎? )


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*Man-of-war 軍艦，英國海軍對於戰艦的愛稱


* Tricorn 三角帽子，就是外國近世史很常有的那種



                                                                                              ------- 圖片資料來源 : 網路


漫漫長夜打小說
肚子餓得咕嚕叫
國慶夜裡無人問
只好泡麵當自強

   有些地方可能有注意到了，粗黑字和*號以及底線是一些專有名詞或是對話用的區分，然後看到這個的 "<---(  )" 但表譯者自己的看法和吐槽